Himself and the Grand Vanishing Trick

Himself went and got a second job when my job went to part-time in June (before I saw the light and quit that job and went and got myself a new real job).

Of course, it took them six weeks to orient him. And now that he's sold his soul to the big box chain in blue, he owes them a certain number of hours in the first 30 days of employment, post-training. You know, just in case LG, Frigidaire, GE, Whirlpool and all the rest come out with all new appliances in the next 30 days and he can't figure out how to sell them. Or something.

This new venture means several things:
1. Renewed complaining about our old-as-dirt and teeny dishwasher. He will again become Mr. Appliance Expert (as he was 3 years ago) and will say things like, "Sigh, if only it had two water thingys inside, it would clean dishes so much more efficiently." (replace "water thingys" with the technical name, and you'll have it right).

2. Renewed drooling over Dysons from me. I just realized the other day that my probably-perfectly-good-vacuum is 7 years old. It's not so much that the vacuum doesn't work (it's an "eh" on the scale of worthless to fabulous), it's the fact that it takes half a day and half a dozen big box stores to find bags for the dumb thing. Apparently, no one uses their old vacuums any more or Eureka stopped making bags in size RR because they are nearly impossible to find. THAT (and envy) is the reaosn I want a Dyson - because if I'm going to have to buy a new vaccum, it will be one that lasts forever and sucks everything out of the carpet, so Baby Girl can't find it and shove it in her mouth.

3. Renewed coveting of some huge TV on Himself's part. If you know him, you know the agony he's been in for three years. Never mind the TV is newer than the vacuum.

4. He won't be home. Ever. This effectively renders me a single parent in a house that is only semi-unpacked and definitely not clean (thanks to Son and Nephew and Baby Girl). Between his real job and this new job and his flight back East to return Son and a 3-day, overnight conference in the mountains ... I expect to see him on the 29th and not before ... just as the out-of-town company arrives for Baby Girl's birthday party.

This means that we're 0 for 3 on camping trips this year, it means that Labor Day weekend will be only the second weekend since June that Himself will be home all weekend. It means that I really will have been able to pack, move and unpack the entire house almost entirely on my own, due to Himself's schedule. And it means another month of sheer exhaustion.

Labor Day will never have so much meaning as it does this year.