I Want To Be Like Mike

I grew up during the era of "I want to be like Mike" - as in some basketball player of Chicago Bulls fame. You know, just a regular guy.

Twenty-plus years later, I've changed my mind. I still want to be like Mike, but this time Mike is a swimmer of Olympic fame. You know, just another regular guy.

I think I have a better shot at swimming well than playing basketball at this point in my life.

Although, by the time I am good enough to qualify for the Olympics (roughly around the time I'm 50), there will be no swimming because the races will be measured in milliseconds ... after all, at some point there is either an "unbreakable" world record or the race ceases to exisit because someone swam it in no time at all.

At that point, all I'd have to do is dip my toe in the pool and then touch the wall, because we'd be too fast to actually have a race. Which means I probably have a pretty good shot (If you overlook the fact that I cannot dive. At all. And, okay, several hundred other things.)

Seriously. 5 seconds off a world record? Makes you wonder if the old suits had lead or the new, much-hyped U.S. suits are jet-propelled.

Either way, I want to be like Mike. And Jason. And Ryan. And Peter. And Cullen. And ... you get the point. With the body of Dara, of course.