I Hereby Resolve

For the past two weeks, scores of people (okay, really more like a half dozen) have asked me what my New Year's Resolutions are. I typically don't set any. January is not a month in which I am terribly motivated. In fact, I'm convinced I was made to hibernate right through January, February and the first half of March. That said, my "new year" starts somewhere with the appearance of the apricot blossoms and the rising of the mercury.

However, this year, I did make one resolution. A single resolution that could honestly revolutionize my entire existence. I've been loathe to share it though, and have usually muttered, "I'm resolving to do better" or something equally as generic.

The past 48 hours though I've been testing it out - and since no one has gasped in horror and exclaimed, "what kind of resolution is that?!" I'll share.

In 2010, I resolve to lower my expectations.

Shocking, I realize. If you don't know me well, you might think, "Oh sure, you're resolving to just skate by."

But that's not it at all. In fact, I'm resolving to lower my expectations so I don't feel like I'm just skating by because I can't possibly keep up with myself.

I'm realizing my house will not be perfectly de-cluttered and the floors won't be as clean as I'd like and that people will drop by when those house looks its absolute worst (Friday nights).

I'm conceding that the fat/tissue/skin that migrated from my thighs to my middle this last pregnancy is probably permanent and it will cause me to have to find a whole new style of pants/shirts that don't look like I've swallowed a spare tire.

I'm realizing that sleep is critically important and that all things cannot be shoved into life simply by eating into sleep time. Eliminating things is more important than losing sleep in order to accomodate them.

I'm vowing to love more freely, spend more time doing good and less time wondering if I am, in fact, an intrusion instead of a help. I'm going to expect no more of people than they tell me to. I'm going to ignore nonverbal communication "noise" and focus on what the person says. If he/she says "it's fine" I'm not going to drive myself crazy wondering what he/she really means.

And, hopefully, I will stop comparing myself to an impossible list of standards I cannot possible achieve and start living life a little more in the moment.

I Have a Choice

I choose to live in The Frontier.

I choose this holiday season to exchange true sentiments versus more commercialized "stuff" - to spend this season of global economic hardship preparing my family rather than pandering to my whimsies and wants.

I choose to be picky about what I feed Woodstock.

I choose how many times a week I wash my hair.

I choose to eat (relatively) healthy, to extend my life.

I choose to worship each Sunday - and I choose the church in which to do that.

I choose to walk to the store if I need just one thing and it's daylight.

I choose to what I'm going to read.

I choose the kind of breakfast I want.

I choose when to visit my family.

I choose what to make for dinner each night.

I choose to go without a coat, except on the coldest of days.

I choose to dress Woodstock in new clothes, hand-me-downs and thrift store bargains with the same degree of glee.

I choose to do laundry only once a week.

I choose to sleep in once in awhile.

I choose hundreds, thousands of things every day.

And because I HAVE A CHOICE in how I live my life, I really do live a life of luxury.

Happy Thanksgiving. May 2008 cause each of us to pause and reflect on how much we DO have.

Venus Just Asked Me ...

This could not have come to my attention at a more opportune moment. I've been spending the last couple of weeks focusing on making me a better person - and while the results are negligible, I'm more encouraged every week.

This week, my goal is to put up my daily accomplishment goal on the door where I can see it. I think this poem just may go below it. Given the perspective of God and divinity that I believe, it is absolutely perfect.

Venus Just Asked Me
by Hafez, translated by Daniel Ladinsky

Perhaps
For just one minute out of the day.

It may be of value to torture yourself
With thoughts like,

"I should be doing
A hell of a lot more with my life than I am --
Cause I'm so damn talented."

But remember,
For just one minute out of the day.

With all the rest of your time,
It would be best
To try
Looking upon your self more as God does.

For He knows
Your true royal nature.

God is never confused
And can see Only Himself in you.

My dear,
Venus just leaned down and asked me
To tell you a secret, to confess

She's just a mirror who has been stealing
Your light and music for centuries.

She knows as does Hafez,
You are the sole heir to
The King.