Woodstock's pending big-sisterhood is indeed thrilling, moreso after the drama of the last month passes.
However, it is somewhat baffling and miraculous. It took a year, obsessing, charting, doctor's visits galore, a miscarriage and drugs to bring Woodstock into existence.
This one ... well, let's just say it involved an adult night out and the apparent lining up of all the planets, a half million stars and good universal karma, AND the month of December (Grover and Woodstock are September babies, this one ... an August baby ... do the math) because, it just happened.
Just happened? To me? The kid who has know about her potential fertility issues for 15 years. Seriously? Clearly they got the wrong person. I'm not supposed to be able to have "surprises." It is supposed to involve a lot of work, drugs and agonizing to create a child(apparently nature got it backwords this time - the work, drugs and agonizing came after). Even the doctor was baffled. The first (of many) that I saw said, "You do realize this doesn't happen to severe PCOS patients, right? It's a miracle, because this just doesn't happen."
Yes, I know. Which is why I wasn't sure to feel gleeful or stunned when there were two lines on the stick, proclaiming that I did NOT have the stomach flu last month. The good thing about thinking one has the stomach flu and being in a state of blissful denial is that a good half of one's first trimester passes without actually realizing it. The second half, however, has made up for that.
I got to enjoy the prospect for all of about two weeks before the blood clots and resulting drama showed up. Between the medication, which makes me nauseated and the all day sickness, my weight is going in the wrong direction. Between the drugs and the $125 compression stockings I now (not-so-proudly) own, the weight of my wallet is also going in the wrong direction.
The clot issue has compounded both the symptoms and the complex nature of how hard a pregnancy is on a woman's body. But we have arms and legs on a body 1.5" long.
All of that aside, the drama and discomfort and inconvenience and cost doesn't really matter. We're having a baby. And that, above all else, is something I will NEVER take for granted. Ever.
7 comments:
Wow! What a miracle! That's great! And overwhelming and stressful and all that, but absolutely wonderful. Everyone needs a miracle now and then. Best of luck with yours.
I can't help but wish it could/would happen to everyone who wanted it. I'll take the AFTER conception insanity - it's much more tolerable than the BEFORE conception insanity.
I just hope modern medicine continues to advance - or virtually none of my friends would have children.
It actually happened to me once, too. A complete and utter surprise and a total 100% miracle. But I lost the baby at 7 weeks, which was horrible. I actually would have been due two weeks from now. Sometimes I still don't think I've fully recovered from the loss.
But anyway, my point is that I agree with you - it is such an amazing experience to find out you are pregnant with no interference from any doctor or needle or hormones. I do wish every infertile person could experience it at some point.
So cool, Sara! That's awesome. I'm glad Woodstock will have a sibling to play with. And fight with. And just learn in general how to deal with sometimes annoying people. There's just no substitute for siblings. Hooray for miracles!
I kind of like unexpected little miracles. It's a lot more fun than the charting and emotional ups and downs of "trying" to get pregnant. Sometimes it's nice to feel the simplicity of God's hand and will. And perhaps a little humbling for those of us that like to maintain a certain level of control AT ALL TIMES.
Such a miracle. How amazing! Though I know it's pretty much impossible, I still hold out hope for a "surprise" ;) Miracles do happen.
And besides the fun of a surprise, even better to NOT know at first and be that much closer to having the baby when you find out!
Bonnie - I'm not sure the shadow of loss ever leaves. Or the fear of losing again ((hugs)).
Surprise is definitely a way to have to give up control - very, very quickly.
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