To Have and To Hold

Nothing can adequately describe the incredible range of emotions I have felt over the last 6 weeks, but this photo, taken last week, comes pretty close:



Baby Girl is growing, but still tiny. While nearly longer than most just-born babies, she has yet to reach the birth weight of any of the babies born to my friends over the past two months. Last week, she began smiling when smiled at during her happy periods right after being fed and having her diaper changed. Tummy time is limited since she is so wiggly - she always ends up on her side or her back. "Back to Sleep" is no longer, as she learned to turn onto her side at Day 4 and, while I still put her down on her back, she steadfastly refuses to stay that way any longer than 30 seconds. She loves nothing more than to hang out over a shoulder - content to watch the world from up high. She is just beginning to discover texture - fingering everything with which she comes into contact.

I've grown to love the feeding times I once dreaded - to indulge in holding her and watching her tiny hands grab onto anything within reach. Himself and I fight over who gets to hold her when we're cold - as Baby Girl has inherited her father's ability to radiate startling amounts of heat.

She is starting to coo and make happy baby noises that one could interpret for a slightly more two-sided conversation. When faced with a new scene or a different angle, Baby Girl turns and twists and stares, trying to take it all in. She delighted the entire back row of Sunday School yesterday (her first foray to church) by smiling and craning her neck to take everything in.

My heart is full of perfect love I didn't know existed.
And my heart aches because on Wednesday I will have to drop her off at Miss Jan's and try not to smear my make up as I cry all the way to work.

It's been six weeks and already she is growing up way too fast.