A Petition to End Mondays

It is hereby declared that Mondays shall be banished, effective immediately. The 24 hours allotted to Mondays will be absorbed into weekend days. The workweek will commence with Tuesdays as of today.

The reasons for this are as follows:

*This morning flowed far too smoothly for me to actually pull it off well. In a flurry of activity, I turned a corner too fast into the nursery and bumped Baby Girl's head. For her, it was a minor bump and a bigger scare. For me, it signalled the fact that I am (as I suspected) a horribly inept mother. She cried. I cried, called Himself to confirm I hadn't permanently damaged her, and cried some more. In fact, long after Baby Girl stopped crying, I continued to cry. She smiled at me when I dropped her off at the sitter - I'm not sure if it was a smile of "I really do love you mom, you're forgiven" or "Yes! Someone else is watching me so my little head is safe for the moment." I'm pretending it was the former.

*I was ready to leave the house - on time - when, loaded down with Baby Girl, my laptop case, my pumping bag and my lunch, I discovered that I had not removed my keys from the glove compartment, where I had put them on the drive back from the Great Frozen North yesterday afternoon (Himself drove, I took my keys as backup. I was afraid I would lose them and made a grave error in judgement, putting them where I would forget them). My keys were now LOCKED INSIDE the car, rendering me stuck at home.

No matter. I figured I would call Himself and he could rescue me much like I rescued him two weeks ago when he locked his keys in his car at work. Except Himself is the only one in the lab this week and can't leave. He reminded me that our car has roadside assistance. I called. They wanted the VIN#. Wouldn't you know, in the stack of bills, I couldn't find a single one with anything about my car on it? The lady took pity on my and looked it up.

*While waiting the 90 minutes for the locksmith to show up, I tried to get some work done from home. Baby Girl, who had fallen asleep amidst all the drama, woke up again. While feeding her, I began to feel strangely warm. I looked down. Baby Girl had soaked both me and herself, necessitating a complete wardrobe change for both of us - just as the locksmith showed up.

I finally dropped Baby Girl off at the sitter's and made it to work - nearly 2.5 hours late.

Therefore, we hereby declare that Mondays no longer exist, due to rising tensions, excessive stress and unhealthy levels of dread.