Stalked by a Vampire

I have a pretty high tolerance for stupidity, lack of common sense and plain old annyoing behaviors. For me, there is quite a distance between aggravating me and leaving me flat out furious.

The Red Cross has found, and crossed, that line.

Three years ago, in the spirit of helping out the daughter of a friend, I succombed to my fear of donating blood and sat with a needle in my arm for several minutes. I am not afraid of needles. Quite the contrary. I'm afraid of passing out. I have very low blood pressure and very low blood sugar - if you take a large amount of blood out of me, I wobble. But, I gritted my teeth and did it.

Turns out, I have O+ blood - I am a universal donor.

Guess what that means?

Yep. The Red Cross calls me ALL THE TIME.

It wouldn't be so bad - I didn't pass out that time, I enjoyed the juice and cookies, I didn't break out in hives from the bandage they used (I'm allergic to adhesives - go figure). However, nearly a year later I was diagnosed with a condition that now prohibits me from donating blood.

I have explained this, quite patiently, to the Red Cross in subsequent calls. Each time I have to re-explain it and asked to be removed from their list, I get an assurance it will happen. It never does.

Several months ago, the gentleman on the other end admitted there are SEVERAL lists - how I ended up on all of them, I'm not sure. I pictured the Red Cross gleefully sending my phone number and blood time to every call center they have, with a note that said, "Call her! She's got perfect blood!" (Of course, in my mind, the Red Cross is looking more and more like Count von Count on Sesame Street - maybe it's the season).

It was aggravating. This month, they crossed the line to furious.

For days I had been receiving calls coming up as "unavailable" on my caller ID. I didn't answer, figuring if they really wanted to reach me (they called only during the day, during which I would theoretically be at work) they would leave a message. They never did. I started charting the calls. I was getting 4-5 calls a day, some within just minutes of each other.

I finally answered. Silence. They use one of those auto dialers that only connects when you pick up. I waited. Still nothing. I hung up. They called back 10 minutes later. I didn't answer. No message. An hour later, they called again. I answered.

"Hello?"

"This is the American Red Cross calling for Sara"

At this point I am considering banging my head on the nearest solid object. I explain that I can no longer give blood and to PLEASE stop calling me. She again confessed there are more than one list. I explained that I have probably spoken with the Red Cross at least once a month for the past 2 1/2 years - that's approximately 30 times I've actually SPOKEN to them. How many more lists could their be?! She didn't know. Of course not. She is making $6 an hour at a call center in Timbuktu, far removed from the acutal Red Cross.

I won't boycott the Red Cross - I think they do good work. But I am searching for somewhere I can contact to stop them from stalking me.

I feel bad, I really do. But it makes me want to yell, "Watch out if you donate blood - you will be stalked by a vampire for the rest of your natural life," to anyone who is considering donating blood. Really. Could they limit their calling to once a day? That, at least, would be approaching something close to reasonable.