Out to Get Me

Himself and I have a friend who is a serious collector of German WWII artifacts, including manuscripts, books and other paraphernalia of Hitler (truth be told, I think it's more for the shock factor than anything). Since he was career military, he always sent his wife to buy things like Mein Kampf and instructed her to use cash, so it couldn't be traced (paranoid, much?) and the government couldn't come after him.

I feel like I must have forgotten to use the same amount of paranoid caution in my life lately, as I am up to my eyeballs in government-generated hate mail.

A sampling of what has awaited me over the past few weeks:

* A letter from the state of Virginia indicating that indeed I owed them for an ENTIRE YEAR's worth of personal property tax on my car, even though I changed my address and let them know I had moved as of 5 June 2007 (necessitating that I pay 42.7% of the tax, not the entire tax, like they are claiming). We are now arguing over my figure vs. theirs, which says I must pay through when everything was converted to a Frontier address/registration.

Why they hate me: Himself moved out here a full six weeks later than I did, never let VA know he moved, and converted all of his vehicle info to a Frontier address/registration the same time I did - and they only charged him through June.

* A letter from the state re: my application for Baby Girl's insurance, since mine is cost-prohibitive (to the tune of 25% of my take-home salary) and Himself isn't employed. The letter was to let me know I needed to contact them for an interview by January 29 in order to complete my application (which took me two hours to fill out).

Why they hate me: The letter was postmarked January 28. It arrived January 31. There are several things wrong with this, including mailing it the day before one has to call (and they are "conveniently available between 8:30 a.m. and 4 p.m. M-F") and the fact that I LIVE in the state capital, meaning the letter took 3 days to rattle around the city mail system before it got to me.

* A second letter from the state (see above), letting me know that I had missed my interview period and would now need to submit a new application. Postmarked January 30. It arrived January 31. Imagine the confusion when I opened this one first.

Why they hate me: This letter conveniently only took overnight to travel the 5 or so miles from the state office to my home. In a quirk of new physics laws, bad news apparently travels faster than good or neutral news.

* A memo from the Social Security Administration, regarding our re-application (for the SECOND TIME) for Baby Girl's social security card. It let us know that we had used up two requests already - and that there are only three allowed per year, ten per lifetime (including new card requests for marital name changes). In other words, in the first 20 weeks of her life, we've used up 20% of her social security card requests.

Why they hate me: We haven't had to request new cards twice because I've been sloppy or irresponsible. We've had to request them because they have never arrived to begin with. Not only that, I am still trying to see if her social security number has been used anywhere fraudulently

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* A jury duty notification from the county courts.

Why they hate me: In 11 1/2 years of being a registered voter, I've received three jury duty summons - all in the last 9 months. One for federal court, two for county. The first arrived during a transitional job period where I wasn't sure where I'd be employed, I was also pregnant and puking and needed to eat every couple of hours. My OB wrote a true (but convincing) letter to excuse me. The second arrived mere days before I left VA and moved to The Frontier. The third arrived the week after Himself lost his job - I don't get paid if I'm out for jury duty, and I am the only income. The $50/day the county gives you for compensation isn't enough to pay the rent. The funny thing is, I'd actually LIKE to be on a jury - if they could call me at a point and time when I'm not in the middle of being pregnant, having an employment crisis or moving. Oh yeah, and I work primarily on a Mac - the website qualification application for jury service (or to request a waiver) only works in Explorer. Gaah!

I'm waiting for an audit notice from the IRS - it would be a fitting tribute to the rest of my 2008 hate mail collection.

I am trying to decide if I should feel popular, loved or loathed. What I do know is that I am irritated beyond belief.