The Reign of the Wicked Witch

I am a step-parent, which almost everyone in my life knows.

What they don't know (or refuse to believe) is that, in reality, I am The Wicked Witch. I was just crowned on Thursday evening, as just over a week of drama finally wore me down to the core, and I passed the audition with flying colors.

I didn't mean to sign up for auditions. I really didn't. I didn't even mean to stumble across the notification. I meant to float effortlessly through the three-week span, sparkly wand in hand, glass slippers and frilly dress on display, a la Glinda the Good Witch. Somehow along the way I took a wrong turn down a road filled with "No U-turn" signs and no crossroads. When I arrived at the end, they were holding auditions. I thought I might peak in - laugh at everyone else who was behaving so insanely for the title. Roll my eyes and think, "I'm glad I'm just visiting." Somehow, I ended up staying, and then, I realized I could win.

There was the food incident. The floor incident. The "I swear there is a vast conspiracy against me" incident. The towels and bathing suit incident. The field trip and eating out incident. The DVD incident. The phone call. The stomach ache. Too many more to mention. I passed every single portion of the audition with gusto. I left everyone stunned.

They asked me what I was going to do, as a way to celebrate the beginning of my reign. I vociferously proclaimed, "I'm going to visit The Parents!" They agreed that it was a very Wicked Witch thing to do - abandoning all Wicked Witch responsibilities for two whole days.

By the end of the two days, my crown (er, pointed black hat), was tarnished. I kept thinking of Glinda, and how I had so abruptly abandoned my "fairy godmother/good witch" project. I marveled at how easy it was to win the title. How easily I bowed before those whom I had pitied from the doorway. My heart was sad - a sign that somehow, while I had claimed the title, I was having a hard time bearing the crown (er, pointed black hat).

I don't WANT to be the Wicked Witch, but I'm afraid the audition was signed in blood and the title is non-refundable.