If You Ever Interview With Me ...

Not that any of you would, but if you do, I offer the following "advice" (yes, some are quirks, but as the interviewer I'm entitled to those quirks) - gathered from the candidates I am interviewing at The Factory for an entry-level position on my team (I use the term "team" losely - The Factory isn't exactly in the thousands of employees range), and from internship and other entry-level candidates I interviewed in past lives.

1. If the "application instructions" are specific - FOLLOW THEM. They are specific for a reason.

2. If you mention a job in your cover letter and include portfolio samples from that job, it should be on your resume. I thought that went without saying, but apparently not.

3. Wear a suit. For crying out loud, wear a suit. I realize I'm of an East Coast, my-entire-wardrobe-is-various-shades-of-black mindset, but wear a suit - or at least something that looks like it didn't come from the casual side of The Gap. Even Himself wears suits to interviews and he gets to wear his pajamas to work on a daily basis.

4. Don't apologize for lack of experience. It's an entry-level position, posted as such. I know you don't have any experience. Instead, tell me what in your life (internship, volunteer work, academic, side job) qualifies you for the position. Don't tell me you have no experience and no qualifications, but will learn everything. Learning is good, but I can't (nor do I want to) teach you everything. You have to bring something to me to work with.

5. Don't make me feel old (see yesterday's post ). This is one of those weird "I'm the interviewer quirks," but don't assume I don't know something about something just because you are younger than I am. I probably don't, but that is irrelevant.

6. Don't send me your resume for a position which wasn't posted. If it says "entry-level" or "internship," I'm not even going to open your e-mail that says "Director" or "Senior Manager" resume - that's me. My job is filled. If it becomes available, someone else will let you know.

7. Don't ask what the salary is on the first interview. You gave me a salary range, you got an interview. Assume that you're in the ballpark or close to it. Those who weren't didn't get invited in. The salary will depend entirely on who is hired.

8. If I start to count how many times you use the word "like" in our conversation, it isn't a good thing. I promise.

9. Do me a favor, take the facial piercings out. I understand freedom of self-expression, but it goes along with wearing a suit. Just humor me.

10. Don't act desperate. I've interviewed 40+ times this year alone, for countless jobs. I thought I was desperate. I wasn't. Trust me, you're not desperate until you're 8 months pg, the primary income and spend 90 minutes unemployed. Even then, don't act desperate. I don't need to know you are so excited (with those dreaded multiple exclamation points!!!!) to get an interview finally because you having a hard time finding a job. It makes me wonder why. I don't want to wonder why.

I do have to say, two things really impressed me this particular interview round:
1. The cover letters of everyone I called for an interview were excellent. I hate writing cover letters. I hate reading them even more, but in a writing-intensive job, they are critical.

2. Bonus points to those who asked me what my management style was. Double bonus points because no one said, "so how are you when you aren't pregnant?" (Okay, if someone would have asked, it would have been point #11, but I had to issue double bonus points, because HIMSELF did ask, when I was giving him the down-low on my day. Then again, he does get to wear his pajamas to work. I have to cut him some slack).