From Somewhere in the Middle

This well might have proven to be an explosive issue today because I've had no sleep, and the day has continued downhill from there, but I doubt it, since it's been an ongoing aggravation for a good long time now:

Executive Nonsense.

I am beginning to think there are a few qualities that executive hiring committees look for when hiring executives:

-Inability to manage time
-Inability, even when laden with every mobile gadget known to man (and the latest versions of all of them) to respond to voice mails, e-mails, text messages, post-its on computer screens or any other form of communication in a timely manner
-Inability to conform to deadlines
-Inabilty to have a realistic expectation of how long some work takes to complete - (with that, an inability to realize that yes, some things are indeed IMPOSSIBLE)
-Inability to convey all necessary information at one time
-Inability to not change one's mind seconds before a deadline, final presentation or other immediate scenario
-Inability to not triple schedule everything on the calendar

It has been my experience, almost without exception, in every executive with whom I've worked that they all share these same characteristics.

From someone who is ensconsed firmly in a non-executive management position, the above list only serves to permanently bruise my forehead as I bang it against my desk. Repeatedly.

It makes me want to write the "From Somewhere in the Middle Credo," based on my collective years of reporting to senior-level executives:

-I cannot meet expectations or deadlines that change without my knowledge.

-I cannot read minds. While I am working on this, I anticipate it taking much longer than this lifespan to accomplish.

-I cannot be held responsible for your failure to read/listen/respond to the forms of communication because a) your voice mail is full, b) you left your cell phone on your desk (or in your last hotel room), c) you have "too many" communications.

-If you do not feel like you know what is going on, it is likely because there is a stream of communication of which you have not read/listened to, and not because I've failed to provide the required information as requested.

-If I tell you something is impossible, trust me, I've explored every possible avenue. It does not do any good to tell me that I need to do more research. Some things just cannot be done in the required amount of time.

-Failure to plan does not constitute a national emergency. Failure of your boss to plan, might feel like it constitutes a national emergency, but it doesn't. The world will still continue to function. Even if he/she says otherwise.

-Just because you can't sleep and issue a comminique at 3:30 a.m., does not mean I will receive or respond to it prior to normal working hours, typically because I have no way of knowing you can't sleep.

-Suggestions presented as "suggestions" are just that. Not set-in-stone-commandments. If they are to be treated as such, they should be properly conveyed as such.

-Just because you are overscheduled and need to change something, does not mean that I can be expected to drop everything to conform to your liquid calendaring. I will do my best. Please refer to the statement about some things indeed being impossible.

Until then, I will sit and bang my head on my desk. Repeatedly.