The Interviews

Interviewing seems to be the word of the day around our house lately.

Himself is interviewing for jobs (pray he gets one soon, for the sake of my nerves, if not for the sake of the bank account). I, while employed, am starting the process of interviewing labor coaches (Himself would roll his eyes here - I am convinced men think babies just appear out of thin air) and potential childcare providers (sigh) for Baby Girl.

I have never liked interviewing. It's not that it's new or foreign or that I get all clammed up in the situation. I spent four years in competitive public speaking (you would never know it now) - debate, persuasion, current events, senate - I've interviewed for things hundreds of times. I've coached interviewing. I've coached competitive public speaking. I've interviewed people - for jobs, for competitions, for any number of things. It doesn't matter which side of the table I'm on, I still don't like it. I think it's part of my "Sara is inherently an introvert" persona.

I like interviewing providers for Baby Girl even less. (Himself interviewing for something only ranks slightly above that - I feel like I am the one interviewing every time he goes - I'm a wreck until he calls and gives me the scoop). I hate the fact that I am going to have to leave Baby Girl with a complete stranger (not a stretch, seeing as I can count the number of people I know in the valley on one hand). ALL DAY. Five days a week (Himself seems to be interviewing for jobs that want him to work a traditional, 5-day work week).

I feel like a horrible mother and Baby Girl still (hopefully) has another 7 weeks before she makes her grand entrance into the world and I can actually say with authority that I am a mother. I feel wicked (not, as my New England friends would say, "wicked good," just wicked). I feel so underqualified to be grilling someone about their childcare philosophy, experience, medical certifications, etc. I'm going to be Baby Girl's mother for crying out loud, and I couldn't answer "yes" to a single question I'm asking.

Not that there are that many contenders. Truth be told, I'm starting to add that to my list of things to get nervous about ... that could be an entirely different post: 487 Things Sara is Going to Drive Herself Nuts Over.

I wonder if I'm being too picky, not picky enough. Feeling too guilty. Not guilty enough. Realizing I'm pretty much going to be a wreck for the next 18 years - she's not even here yet, and I'm already critical of my parental judgment.

Funny - the one thing in life that hasn't involved an interview is Baby Girl. No one asked me if II was ready, capable or a "good fit" for the position. It might just be the one interview I would have made a complete disaster of, all my training notwithstanding.

It is probably a really good thing that Baby Girl was given to us based on faith, not on qualifications.