Paying Bills: A Story of Insanity

Every month for the last 8 years, I have logged onto a certain website to pay a certain bill.

EVERY SINGLE MONTH.

Same site.
Same username.
Same password.
No problems.

Until today, when I went to pay my bill (due tomorrow). Suddenly, it doesn't work. Rather, the website works, but it no longer likes my ridiculous combination of letters and numbers and special characters (no spaces, please!), case-sensitive, and please make sure it is at least 10 characters long.

I try again. No luck. Repeating it does not good. Neither dones banging my head against my laptop (or the desk).

I click on "Forgot Username or Password?" a chirpy little link that assumes I'm just stupid and haven't been entering my enormously lengthy password AT LEAST 96 times over the last eight years.

It informs me that "we're sorry, but we cannot retrieve or reset your username or password. Please set up a new account."

Desparate, I do. I immediately run into trouble.

• Account number. Check.


• Security word. What the...? It's been eight years - I don't remember even having a security word. Going with the standard financial security question, I enter my mother's maiden name.


• 3-digit security number. Check. Except, well ... it seems to have DISAPPEARED.

Of course it comes back with a bright red "please call us immediately or we're putting you in lockdown" error message.

A phone call, a couple of transfers and one aggravated self later, I manage to pay my bill and get a new online account and a new security code and security word. All of which ensures I won't remember any of them next month.

I move on to the next bill, which I have been paying online every month for the last SEVEN years. Last month they changed their login system and made everyone choose new usernames (case-sensitive, please!) and passwords (a long string of letters and/or numbers, no special characters, no words you can find in the dictionary - seriously!).

Of course, after seven years of logging into the system a particular way, there is no possible way for me to remember the username/password combo I chose just last month.

Repeat head banging.

They are a little nicer and actually send me my username and the option to resest my password.

Somehow I suspect next month is going to be just as much fun