I Hereby Resolve

For the past two weeks, scores of people (okay, really more like a half dozen) have asked me what my New Year's Resolutions are. I typically don't set any. January is not a month in which I am terribly motivated. In fact, I'm convinced I was made to hibernate right through January, February and the first half of March. That said, my "new year" starts somewhere with the appearance of the apricot blossoms and the rising of the mercury.

However, this year, I did make one resolution. A single resolution that could honestly revolutionize my entire existence. I've been loathe to share it though, and have usually muttered, "I'm resolving to do better" or something equally as generic.

The past 48 hours though I've been testing it out - and since no one has gasped in horror and exclaimed, "what kind of resolution is that?!" I'll share.

In 2010, I resolve to lower my expectations.

Shocking, I realize. If you don't know me well, you might think, "Oh sure, you're resolving to just skate by."

But that's not it at all. In fact, I'm resolving to lower my expectations so I don't feel like I'm just skating by because I can't possibly keep up with myself.

I'm realizing my house will not be perfectly de-cluttered and the floors won't be as clean as I'd like and that people will drop by when those house looks its absolute worst (Friday nights).

I'm conceding that the fat/tissue/skin that migrated from my thighs to my middle this last pregnancy is probably permanent and it will cause me to have to find a whole new style of pants/shirts that don't look like I've swallowed a spare tire.

I'm realizing that sleep is critically important and that all things cannot be shoved into life simply by eating into sleep time. Eliminating things is more important than losing sleep in order to accomodate them.

I'm vowing to love more freely, spend more time doing good and less time wondering if I am, in fact, an intrusion instead of a help. I'm going to expect no more of people than they tell me to. I'm going to ignore nonverbal communication "noise" and focus on what the person says. If he/she says "it's fine" I'm not going to drive myself crazy wondering what he/she really means.

And, hopefully, I will stop comparing myself to an impossible list of standards I cannot possible achieve and start living life a little more in the moment.