I Do Not Want Them, Sam I Am

It's flu shot season.

 

I don't like flu shot season.

 

Rarely do I ever get a flu shot - because rarely do I ever get the flu. I've had it twice. Ever. Once in 1992 and once in 1999. Doesn't mean I won't ever get it again, but my immune system (and my hand-washing neurosis) is pretty effective all on its own.

 

I have a love-hate relationship with flu shots anyway. I got one last year and an H1N1, because I had a toddler, a brand-new baby and the people dying in this region were healthy people in their 30s - which would be me.

 

Okay, fine. Don't get a flu shot.

 

Which is what I decided.

 

Yesterday, I was at the doctor's. Never mind he didn't seem to care about what I was there for (a whole separate post), he put more effort into trying to wrestle me into getting a flu shot than he did in determining the source of the pain which is why I was there to begin with.

 

"Do you need a flu shot?"

"No"

"Do you have children?"

"Yes"

"How old are they?"

"1 and 3 - but my employer gives flu shots for free, so if I was to get one, it would be through them."

"See? You need a flu shot. If you don't it at work, you need to come back."

 

[Yeah, I'll get right on that]

 

Fast forward to today - flu shot day at The Mega Office. Someone in management comes to my desk:

"You know, flu shots are free today."

"I do, thank you."

"Have you got one yet?" (Does HIPPA not cover me at work?!)

"I'm not going to get one, thank you."

"You know, there is still time to get one today."

"I know. I got the e-mail, thanks."

"You should really think about it."

"Thank you."

"Keeps you healthy!"

 

Yes, thank you. And so does eating well and washing my hands and staying home from wrok when I have the heebie jeebies. As do the Clorox wipes and hand sanitizer on my desk.

 

WHY must it be such a big deal? I don't want one.

 

Not in a house, not with a mouse

Not in a box, not with a fox

I do not like flu shots

You let me be

 

Gaah! And if I get it, I promise not to breathe on anyone.

(My apologies to Dr. Seuss and his lovely story)