Round and Round We Go

Okay, so I'm behind. I still am going to blog my week of Thanksgiving, but between an office move, a holiday and an infant who decided that sleeping through the night was for the birds, I've been in a state of "just short of self-combustion" these days.

One of the glories of my job was that it was located a mere 9.25 miles from home - in the opposite direction travelled by anyone else going to work in The Frontier. If you tacked on the short drive to Miss Jan's and back to the office, it brought it up to 10 miles even.

It was a pretty sweet deal, especially after some of the commutes I've had - the longest (mileage-wise) of which involved a bridge-tunnel in the morning, a high-rise bridge in the afternoon and 72 miles of round-trip-stuck-in-traffic-delight. The problem was, the actual office at The Office left a lot to be desired - even for a nonprofit. The rents were high, the cleaning crew was non-existent (we had a "bring-your-vacuum-to-work cleaning party the last week in the office), the landlord unstable and the digs were ... well, balancing on the fine line between modest and terrible.

So, The Office moved to swanky new digs downtown - cheaper rent, cleaner toilets, effusive landlords and space that feels akin to the organizational "feel". It's also only 8.2 miles from my house.

The problem lies in the fact that The Office, while closer to my house now (by a mile each way) is now 16 miles from Miss Jan's. Drive south 9.5(ish) miles. Drop girls off. Drive north 16 miles. Spend .3 miles in the parking garage. Repeat in reverse eight hours later. It's not so much the distance (reference the 72-mile round-trip commute above) or the traffic (after East Cost traffic, this is nothing) or the extra gas/mileage/upkeep costs (still cheaper, more reliable and faster *sigh* than public transit here). It is two-fold: the fact that I have to go south to go north and drive an extra 35+ miles a day and the fact that I arrive home 40 minutes later than usual, exhausted, hungry and cold - posessing two children who feel the exact same way - only to have to switch hats and face my other life. The life that involves dishes, dinner prep, housekeeping (ha - as if that happens), bedtime and prep for the next day (dinner prep, dishes, housekeeping, setting clothing out, etc).

Once this week, it was too much. I was late picking the girls up, the traffic was in rare form (2 accidents, 1 construction zone = nightmare no matter which way I drove) and I just wanted to yell "Forgetaboutit!" and calculate the horrors of moving into a cardboard box and eating top ramen for the next 10 years.

Instead, I hung my head over the sink and sobbed as I wondered how long I'd have to pay for my sin of overindulgence and foolish financial management in my twenties.

The moment passed and the next day dawned sunny and hopeful - as new days have a tendancy to do (even in The Frontier winters). That night, my boss gave me a letter of appreciation and indicated that I'd be receiving a small bonus in my next check. I remembered that he didn't bat an eye earlier in the week when I announced that Miss Jan's relative had died suddenly and she would be closed for the funeral - he merely agreed that working from home would be fine. My paycheck came. Woodstock proclaimed how much she loved seeing her friends at Miss Jan's. Pebbles slept through the night again. I got more than 4 hours of sleep (only 5 1/2 actually, but that's better than 4). I remembered that I had a good, flexible job with a good paycheck in a crummy economy. I remembered that I had a fantastic, dependable, trustworthy, salt-of-the-earth sitter - who only charges me the rate for one child, even though she watches two.

And I realized that sometimes blessings come in the most unexpected moments. I still dislike my new commute, but there are far worse things in the world - and someday, I'll settle into a routine and laugh at how inefficient and inept I used to be.