Speechless

Last night, my new neighbors - the women from church - threw me a baby shower, hosted by an elderly woman in the congregation who picked up on my love of food and my pending delivery and "adopted" me - her husband (now suffering from alzheimers) was a professional chef and she has a long-distance great-grand-baby due to be born the week after Baby Girl.

I walked to the shower, excited at the prospect of getting to know these women a little better - maybe well enough at some point to count them as friends.

I left, stunned. Completely overhwelmed at the generosity of women who have known me only at a distance for 8 weeks or so. My sister and best friend from high school threw a shower for old friends a few weeks ago, organized a month prior. Most didn't come - life is pretty hectic for twenty- and thirtysomethings with kids. Last night, a week after invitations went out, there were about 25 women there - some I didn't even recognize - none of whom I knew more than on a "Hi, how are you?" level. I left with armfuls of beautiful things for Baby Girl - many of them hand-made.

The talent, the generosity, the love that filled the room was almost too much for me. I hate being the center of attention and I'm not good at dealing with emotion. I almost didn't know how to react other than to repeat over and over, "I don't know what to say ..." Everyone left saying, "Please call us when she arrives - we can't wait to meet her." Baby Girl is loved by a group of women we will grow to know together.

I have friends who chafe at organized religion. I've had people who have tried to "save" me from being brainwashed. To them I would say, "if this is being brainwashed, I will take it." One of the greatest comforts in my life is knowing that wherever I go in the world, there will be a group of people who will welcome me with open arms, a group of people of a like-mind, a group of people with whom I can begin to forge friendships in each new place I reside. The congregations are composed of individuals and are all different in how they "adopt" new members into their midst, but there is genuine good and caring in each one.

People ask how it is that I have moved cross-country or to a completely new area or city multiple times. If they knew how truly introverted I am by nature, they would scratch their heads even more. It is because I know that no matter where I go, I will find someone who shares my outlook on life. Where I find spiritual substence, I will also find food for my soul - nourished by a myriad of activities, events and opportunities to reach out.

My greatest fear was having Baby Girl and knowing no one.

Right now, my greatest fear is not being able to adequately express my gratitude for a group of women - most of them old enough to be my mother or grandmother - who reached out last night to figuratively hug me and welcome me and my little girl "home."