Baby I'm up to Here!

I'm a bit overwhelmed with all things Baby at the moment.

Monday, I had my regular journey to the doctor's office - only to spend more time in traffic than I actually spent in the office. The good news is, I'm actually gaining weight (I say this with enormous trepidation. To actually see gaining weight as a positive thing has been an imense struggle with my psyche). The bad news is, I really do have bronchitis. Apparently this baby is content to not only consume my waistline and my short-term memory cells, but my immune system as well. The perplexing news is how two doctors in the same practice can have such radically different opinions on something I thought was pretty much black and white - my asthma meds. One, seen while I was still in the "donating blood in great volumes to the lab" stage, had strongly recommended I go off my meds unless I absolutely needed them (i.e. end up with bronchitis). The new one I saw today treated that bit of news with an appalled gasp and a recommendation to start back on the meds immediately, pondering why I had ever gone off. Confusing, much?

Later (after the washing machine episode), I spoke with my sister, comparing the Baby "lists" - what we have (or don't have, in my case) and what we want (my list is still far shorter than hers). I was relieved to find my nonchalance regarding the "necessity" of specialty bassinets must be genetic, because we share the same opinion. Toward the end, right about the time she began talking about her baby shower, it hit me. In 4 months, I'll be in her place - mere weeks from actually having to use things on said list - impending motherhood no longer distant, but in the foreground, immediately within reach.

Lest I escape thinking of Baby, my mom wrote Tuesday to tell me that she has ordered a stroller/infant seat for my sister's baby. I am fortunate enough that my parents are also purchasing for us. She offered to send me the link and information, so I could approve it, "Just in case you had something else in mind."

Wait. I'm supposed to have already thought about things like strollers and carseats!? It matters? (Other than safety, of course). I wrote back and said, "I have three requirements - it's safe, the carseat goes with the stroller and the stroller is easily collapsible." I get the feeling I'm supposed to be picky. Apparently, the fact that I have begun scouring maternity consignment stores (I refuse to buy maternity clothing that cost more than my regular wardrobe), purchased my "you-would-never-know-it's-not-brand-new" glider for 80% off retail at a yard sale and have given virtually no thought to color schemes, nursery themes or necessary product details is alarming.

Ironically, I have pondered childcare options. A lot. Even today. It seems to be the one thing about which I've become "hormonally insane" according to Himself. I can't help it. I have a recurring nightmare that I'm at the end of my 6-week maternity leave (I'm seriously considering relocating to a socialist country for the next birth) and I realize we have no childcare options for the 2-3 days/week both of us work. I've come no closer to figuring out what we want to do, nor have I come any closer to dragging Himself into this corner of my insanity.

The one final "completely overwhelmed" Baby moment came when I realized this morning that in 4 weeks, we will no longer be able to use "well, we don't even know the gender" as an excuse to not sit down and exhuberantly discuss (argue makes it sounds so violent!) names for Baby. I have 4 weeks of being able to look at the baby names book without a smidgen of guilt. Now that alarms me.