Bittersweet: Pebbles Joins The Family

First, if you haven't already, you should read Pebbles' birth story here (for those of you confused, I am "Mary.") It's the most accurate version, as there are whole periods that aren't really seared in detail in my memory. Mountains of gratitude to Heidi for blogging the story (and writing it in Pebbles' journal), but more than that, I owe her a debt of gratitude for being there with me during Pebbles' birth.

Heidi (and my mother) are right when they say I attract (create?) drama. I can't do anything without high drama. Including, as it turns out, birthing my second child.

Last Sunday promised to be a quiet reprieve from the chaos of Saturday. I was to babysit two neighbor boys so their parents could attend the dedication of the Oquirrh Mountain Temple. In exchange, their parents would watch Woodstock so I could attend. I have longed to attend a dedicatory session for years, and never have logistics worked out in my favor. I was so proud of myself when I made the arrangements this time for making it happen.

I spent the morning playing blocks and trucks and watching Bob the Builder with Woodstock and the two little boys. I returned home, feeling crampy and exhausted. I flirted with the idea of calling the neighbors and telling them I wasn't going to attend, but talked myself out of it once I thought about how disappointed I would be if I didn't go. I put a roast on and decided to lie down while Woodstock was napping, after which I would tackle the laundry and bedroom that I'd left undone the previous day before heading to the dedication.

I laid down with a book and five minutes later, just as I was beginning to drift off, my water broke. I sat still for another 5 minutes hoping against hope it wasn't really my water breaking. Unable to come up with another option, however, I resigned myself to semi-panic mode. I showered, dressed and began the first of the 37 phone calls it would take to implement (or try to implement) the "How Sara is getting to the hospital and who is going to watch Woodstock and Grover since Himself is out of town plan." As it turns out, it took me clear until contingency plan F and nearly two hours to put plans into place.

My first call was to Himself, who was in the Pacific Northwest visiting his dying father. We knew when we sent him that me going into labor while he was gone was a possibility, since I was 39 weeks pregnant, but I never actually thought it would happen. I cried. I cried because I knew the chances of Himself missing Pebbles' birth were astronomically high. I cried because the last thing I wanted to do was birth my second child alone. I cried because I didn't want to be a burden to all the people I was trying to chase down to help me. I cried because, deep down, as much as I was physically ready to give birth, I was nowhere near emotionally ready.

Heidi arrived at the hospital before I did, effectively making me late to my own child's birth. Not a shocker, since I was also late to my wedding.

You have all the details from Heidi's post ... I spent the first 6 hours trying not to go out of labor and the next 5 trying to be done with labor. At some point I hit a mental/emotional wall when I realized Himself was really going to miss the birth and my inner strength crumbled. I lost my focus and panicked.

Fortunately, I was surrounded with three strong compassionate women - Heidi, my midwife and my nurse, who didn't believe what I was saying and made an epidural-free delivery happen anyway. I think my first words were, "I'm never having another child!" But after having a so-far not-too-painful-complicated recovery, I might reconsider going through all that again.

At 2:43 a.m., August 24, Pebbles arrived - perfect, healthy and wide awake (and hungry!). She has the most delicate features, brown hair, hazel eyes and was nearly a full pound (and a full inch) longer than Woodstock was. 7 pounds, 1 oz. 20".

So far, she is the most calm, content baby I've ever seen - beating even her older sister, who was also born with a very serene disposition. It is a bit surreal to snuggle with Pebbles and realize that she is also my child. It's an odd feeling to realize that one can love two offspring equally, and yet so differently.

Pebbles is here. After eight months of drama and a last week of complete insanity, our perfect little miracle is in my arms - quite litterally.