Joy

Today's topic of the day in church was a verse in Galatians that spoke of the "fruits of the Spirit." Two of the speakers spoke about the verse in macro terms, but one speaker took one of the elements and focused her entire 15-minute talk on it. She chose joy.

It was an interesting choice - usually people tend to go for the more doctrinally heavy topics in things like that - like Charity, Faith, Perseverance, etc. Joy is such a deceptively simple word, I think most of us tend to leave it by the wayside and try to interpret more complex matters.

I, for one, was glad she chose the subject. Over the past month - really since just before I got sick in early July - I've struggled with my state of being. I feel like I do in the middle of January - numb and tired with no zeal. I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, which means the amount of natural light and my moods are directly linked. In the dark, dreary days of winter, I struggle with depression. I have never suffered from it in the summer - even though this summer I've not been outside much. It scares me a little. Having SAD doesn't scare me so much. I know what it is, how to help ease the darkness, and that come late March and the first bursts of spring, I will be fine. Having the same feeling in August, however, doesn't bode well. SAD is not a summer disorder. This time around, there is really nothing at which to point a finger for my feeling this way.

I thought about joy a lot today - while I was reading this afternoon, while I spent the early evening hours having dinner at a friend's house, during the remainder of church services. Even though I've spent the past six weeks feeling sort of gloomy and numb, there are plenty of things which bring me joy. By no means is this a comprehensive list - merely some of the things that immediately sprang to mind when I thought of things that bring me immeasureable joy:

*Lingering in bed on a weekend morning as Himself holds me in his arms.
*Spending Sunday afternoon curled up in the dappled sunlight on the love seat, reading a book or the Sunday paper.
*Road trips to new places or beloved old ones.
*When Grover gives me a hug, asks me to read to him or allows me to claim a little piece of his heart.
*Singing in a choir.
*Watching the snow fall and knowing there is nowhere in the world you have to be.
*Camping on Boulder Mountain - which holds 19+ years of perfect memories.
*Solving a complex problem.
*Driving over the hill into the little valley I called home for 15 years to visit my family.
*Cooking for family and friends.
*Revisiting old photo albums and scrapbooks and savoring cherished childhood memories.
*Christmas morning.
*Thinking of the morning I knelt across the alter from the love of my life and said, "I do" - even on days when we're driving each other up the wall.
*Feeling the hand of God in my life.

I could go on forever. Simple, complex, mundane, extraordinary - there are so many little things that bring a contented sigh and a feeling that all is right in the world. May I never lose that feeling, and my my list never grow shorter.